Blogger Vacation

The Return:
Hello one and all! Sorry for my prolonged absence.  What started with a late Halloween night on Thursday, turned into something every night until now.  Friday night we had a college basketball game we went to after I got off of work, Saturday there was a football game, Sunday we had a family get together, Monday night we had to take an "emergency" trip to a store and then decided to have dinner out, Tuesday night we were following the election updates. By the end of each day I was drained and had no motivation to write. That being said, there is plenty to talk about and should make for a good catch up entry.

Trick-or-Treat:
Cora was so fun to take trick-or-treating this year. She went as a pirate just like her mother and I went as a Duck Dynasty character. Just pick one, it doesn't matter.  She was very good at saying trick-or-treat at every house and saying thank you after getting each treat.  She got so excited every time we got to a new door. As much as I enjoyed Halloween as a kid, I think I enjoyed watching Cora have the time of her life even more. I guess that's what it is all about. Not just Halloween, but having kids in general. You live for the moments when their eyes light up and in their mind nothing is wrong with the world. It makes me so excited for Christmas this year for her. I hope she will find that excitement in giving and seeing others happiness around the holidays someday too.























Celebration Of A Loss:
My brother in-law ran for mayor of his city this year and the elections were yesterday. As you may already have gathered from the title of this section he didn't win. In fact, to be brutally honest, it wasn't even close. He only received 14% of the total vote. I would like to say this about it though, I'm extremely proud of him and his courage to take that step and opportunity to exercise his rights to run for office. He has now done something that I have always said I would do and have never had the gumption to do. He has inspired me to follow my dreams and I will be running for public office in four years. So even though He will probably never read this, congratulations and thank you.

Consistency:
I'll be getting back in the groove of writing more often. After writing this entry I realized that I missed writing things down.  For the reader that keeps wondering when I will answer their question, my answer is that it will be in tomorrows blog. I got side tracked on YouTube again.  If you ever want to kill sometime and want to ruin a movie for yourself go check out Everything Wrong With on YouTube. You will waste so much time you won't know what happened. Anyway, it's close to midnight so I'm gonna wrap it up and go to sleep. I hope you enjoyed and check back tomorrow night for another new entry. Take care!

Fence Sitters Part 2

Oh Come On Man:
A couple of entries ago I went on a little rant about fence sitters. It is one of my biggest pet peeves.  Just make up your mind. I won't take offense by your decision, I just want an answer that will stick. I have been working with a business for the last two days. They finally decided to run the insert the flier they have been planning on. So first they decided to go with one variation, 25 minutes later I get an email that they want to go with a different version. A hour later I get a phone call saying they want to change the amount of inserts they want to run. So I finally verify all the information and get the order in. Two hours later I got another call wanting to change the amount again. Fine, I get it changed and start finishing up what I need to before I head home. About a hour and a half later I get out to my car and I get a text saying they want to up the amount again, so I pull back up to the door and go in and change the order again so it is correct. I finally get home to have the rest of my night. I watch a few shows, have dinner, play with my little girl, and just overall relax.  Well at 9 pm I get a text.  I pull my phone out of my pocket and guess who and what?  Yep, they want to completely cancel the order and save if it for another month. I worked seriously all day to get the order correct because it gets sent off to the press tomorrow. So I will have to go in first thing in the morning to make sure it doesn't get printed. That on top of the fact that they think they can have the liberty to text me at 9 pm at home well after working hours kind of rubs me the wrong way. They almost deserve me letting the inserts printing anyway. I won't let that happen, but it would be karma in my book.  So it is a little bit of an understatement to say I'm a bit frustrated tonight.  Oh well, that's the way it goes sometimes I guess.

Is That A Clue?:

So as I mentioned above I played with my little girl for awhile when I got home. My wife isn't feeling very good today, so she stayed up in bed while my girl and I played. She found a snake light I have for working in the garage and was walking around shining it at the ground. She would stop here and there and just stare then move on. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm looking for clues!"  I asked if I could join her and she graciously let me tag along. We walked around for a good 25 minutes finding new clues. The would vary from being footprints to hair. It was a lot of fun to listen to her tell me what we were finding. She thinks she is quite the detective. She even has us put our hands around our eyes like binoculars to see certain things that apparently can't be seen otherwise.

Video Of The Day:
Today's video is from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.  These two together are really funny. There are a ton of skits they've done together and for whatever reason this is the one I chose to share. I love them all so don't stop there if you enjoyed it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9F86cAoi3o

Falling Off The Fence:
Well I'm not sitting on the fence anymore. I've fallen off to one side. The side of the fence I'm on is telling me to go to sleep, so that is exactly what I'm going to do. Thanks again for everyone reading this. Do me a favor and share it if you like it. I need a few more questions for this coming Friday, so if you got them send them in.

Do All Dogs Really Go To Heaven?

9 Hours Of Hell:

Well It has been a few days since I have posted anything. I had my brother's wedding festivities all weekend and by Sunday night I was completely brain dead. Suffice it to say that the weekend was good, extremely tiring, but good. Now to explain the header. It all started at about 11:30 last night. Like I said my weekend had already been extremely tiring. I decided that before I went to bed I would finish all the dishes in the sink so I didn't have to wake up to them.  After I finished that up I went up to bed while my wife finished watching a show. When I walked into my bedroom a stench wave hit me in the face.  It was extremely fowl and almost gut churning. So I searched out the source and found that my dog had puked all over inside her kennel. Lucky for me most of it made it onto a towel that was inside of the kennel. I gathered up the towel and put it in a grocery sack  because I was not going to even try to clean it up. I then sprayed the inside with a cleaner and wiped it out. I put the used paper towels in the grocery bag as well and tied it up to take it out to the garbage. As I was leaving the bedroom I looked down the hall that leads to the other bedrooms and saw something that took my frustration up another notch. My dog had pooped in the hall on the carpet. No my dog isn't like any normal dog, no, when she poops she has to walk in circles.  So it's not just in one pile, it is in a nice circular pattern for me. Oh, there is one more thing to add to this description - she had the runs. So the top part of the poop was runny, but the bottom had gotten stiff into the shag carpet.  That took me about a have hour to pick up and scrub the carpet. Finally about 12:30 I finished and crawled into bed. My wife followed shortly with our little girl. My little girl has had a few rough nights lately. She wakes up screaming because her legs hurt. My wife and I decided it is most likely because she is having growing pains. We do our best to comfort her and calm her down, but she was up crying every 30 to 45 minutes crying after we would get her to calm down and go back to sleep. That was taking about 20 minutes every time she would wake up. Needless to say I didn't get very much sleep by the time the alarm went off around 7. When it was time to get up I slowly rolled out of bed and made my way to my closet to grab stuff to take a shower. I don't turn the light on in the morning when I go into my closet because I know where everything is. I took two steps in and both had a squishing effect. My gut instantly dropped. I knew exactly what had just happened. I didn't lock the dog into her kennel before going to sleep. I reached over and turned on the light, and there laying in front of me was a circular pile, twice the size as the night before, of runny dog fecal matter. At this point I past frustration and rage, I've reached despair. I dropped to my knees and crawled to the toilet and got some toilet paper to wipe my feet off. After I cleaned my feet off I got my stuff to shower and went and took care of that. After the shower I put on the rubber gloves and cleaned up the mess. This one took me close to 40 minutes and 3 times of holding down puke. What a way to start my Monday huh? I'm so glad this day is over. On to better days. Last night and this morning made my root canal seem fun. On the plus side, Halloween is coming up soon and I'm excited to take my girl around trick-or-treating. 

7 Hours Of Peace?:

That's all I have for today. I did get a request for a topic, so I will go over it tomorrow. After telling that story I'm ready to pack it up and try and get some sleep tonight. Here's to hoping I will be able to sleep through the night tonight and that my day doesn't start by stepping in dog feces.  Once again I appreciate you taking time to read my blog. If you enjoyed it please do me a favor and share it on Facebook, Twitter, or anything you want. There are some share buttons on the top right of the page or just below this paragraph. Hope this makes your day go better than my Monday did. Check back in again tomorrow for a new entry.

Yes, We Can See You

Taking Out The Trash:
Today is the day that the garbage is collected in my neighborhood.  Like many others, I always forget to take it out until the morning when I go out and see all my neighbors have their garbage cans out on the street. While I was driving to work I saw a few people doing exactly what I do and that is dragging the can out to the street early. Well a ways down the street I saw out of the corner of my eye a purple mass.  I looked over and there was this lady wearing a purple moo moo. If you don't know what a moo moo is look at the picture. It is a not what I call a go out in public outfit. Now I understand she was just running out her garbage to the curb and I can let that slide. The funny part is that as I looked over at her she made eye contact with me and gave me a look that to me said: "How dare you look at me while I'm wearing this!" I'm not going to lie, it gave me a good chuckle and made the first part of the day go a lot better.

When Did I Arrive In The Deep South?:
Today while drive on a back road I was coming up on a slow driving truck. When I got close enough to the truck I started to pass it. As I started going around it I got to the point where you can just see the hands on the steering wheel and then I saw the funniest thing I had seen all day. That's saying a lot considering the first story of the day. The man was holding a full set of dentures just out the window airing them out. As I pulled up even with him, he looked over at me and gave me a big toothless grin. I almost had to pull over, I was laughing so hard I was tearing up. I half expected banjos to start playing and to see men sitting on porches drinking moonshine. Well I made it safely to where I was going, but it is needless to say it is an experience I will never forget.

Video Of The Day:
Today's video features two of my favorite YouTube products: The Overly Attached Girlfriend and Life According To Jimmy. There isn't a great way to explain the clip except that she is stalker-ish and he is the laid back no commitment type. Sit back and enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zg6iMDfOl9E

Submissions:
So tomorrow I may not have the opportunity to write because it is my brother's wedding. That being said, I would still like to see if anyone has any questions or thoughts for the mailbag piece. If I don't do it tomorrow I will be doing it on Sunday. I'm also thinking about making a few days a week specific days to cover one topic or subject. Let me know if you have any suggestions or something you would like to see. Thanks again for reading the blog and making it a success and fun for me.

Going Up?

No I Didn't Come Up With The List:
This isn't an original list that I came up with, I just found it the other day and thought it was pretty fun. If I lived in a place with more elevators I would definitely make it a point to try most of these out.  So without further adieu, Here are ten annoying things to do in an elevator:
1) Stand silent & motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
2) Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you admiral.
3) MEOW occasionally.
4)Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror: "You're one of them!" Then back            away slowly.
5) Say "DING" at each Floor.
6) Make explosion noises when someone presses a button.
7) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and then announce to the others: "This is my personal space."
8) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder then pretend it wasn't you.
9) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pic it up, then yell: "That's mine!"
10) Call out a "group hug", then enforce it.

Wrecking Ball:

When Miley Cyrus licks a hammer, naked, it's art. When I do it, I'm wasted and have to leave the hardware store immediately. Where is the equality these days.






Did They Really Just Say That?:
Here is the new video of the day. It's done by a channel on youtube called BadLipReading. They have a ton of videos they voice over. I find a lot of them extremely funny. This one is my all time favorite. They have taken a whole bunch of clips from NFL games and done voice overs. Check it out and enjoy a laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zce-QT7MGSE

Brain Dead:
While I was getting the link for the above video I wondered off and watched a video that lead to a whole series of videos. So here I am an hour later writing again. I have laughed so hard I was in tears. I have nothing else to write tonight because I'm already drained. If you want to know the video series, shoot me an email and I'll let you know. I can't recommend them on my blog though. Some people may not find them as funny as I do. Well anyway, have a good one and I'll have more for you tomorrow. Don't forget to send in questions for the Friday Mailbag. Thanks again for reading.

Make Up Your Mind

I Hope Sitting On That Fence Hurts:
After several years of working in customer and sales, there is one thing that bothers me more than any other. It drives me crazy when people can't decide what they want or if they want to do it. But my number one pet peeve is when someone leads you on like there is a 75% chance or better they will go ahead an do something when they really don't plan on doing it at all. It's like they think they will hurt your feelings if they just come right out and say no. It is even worse when you go ahead and plan as if they are going to do it then they back out of it at the last minute. It throws off your entire plan and leaves you scrambling for something else to take its place. I hope you get splinters.


More Potty Training Woes:
Sometimes my daughter does really well at telling us she has to go to the bathroom, and other times not so much. That being said we are still making progress with her. Today my wife started her out in panties in the morning after she woke up. Sadly she wet in them so my wife stuck a diaper on her. Not 15 minutes after she had the diaper on she told my wife she needed to go potty.  My wife dutifully took her to the bathroom and she actually did go. Well later in the day she still had the diaper on and we weren't at home and she said she had to go potty. Well unfortunately we didn't have access to a bathroom for her so we don't she could go in her diaper but thank you for telling us. She told us she couldn't go in her diaper. I asked her why she couldn't go in her diaper because she had no problem going in her panties? She just kind of shrugged her shoulders and said "Because I can't." Hard to argue that logic.

I'm Spent:
Well I'm out of it for the night. Thanks for taking a look. Feel free to share it with your friends if you liked it and let me know what bothers you most about people not making up their minds. Check back tomorrow for a new video of the day, possible a song review, best things to do in an elevator, and any random thing I deem worthy of spewing out. Have a good one!